Grocery Store Stereotypes

Oh, my bad. That’s all right. I’ll just go the other way. Oh. Oh. Oh. OK. Here I just need to go–Should I back up?I’m sorry. Oh. Rotate. Where did you find these?Hold on. Hold on. You ready to check out?Oh, yeah. All right. You go left. I go right. Sounds good. We got a short line
four, short line four. How are you doing today, ma’am?Great. How about you?Good, good. Thank you. Oh, oh, oh, I’ve got
a coupon for that. Bail on four. Bail on four. We got a couponer. Dude, head to 13. We’re looking golden over here. I’ll be writing a check today. Bail, bail, bail. We got a check writer. Holy cow, they’re
still couponing. Four is a no-go. I’m not sure. And that’s lunch. No. Man, I am starving– just
got to stick to the list. Oh, oh, what are those?They’re so good. Going to eat that
on the way home. Oh, oh, the cereal aisle!Fight the urge. It’s not worth it. Ah, I can’t help it. Hey, hey, how is it going, man?Doing great. Cotton candy– you know, the
last time I went to the circus,I ate four bags of this stuff. Funny story, I actually
lived next to triplets—-twice. Kind of in a hurry. You know last week,
I was out therea little after-hours mixer
at the Chamber of Commerce. Can I pay yet or no?When was the last time you
went to a white elephant giftexchange?What’s a good number
I can reach you at?Hey, it’s for the grocery store. Hey, how is it going, man?Wow, that’s a pretty good
size pack of gum there. You got some stinky breath?Oh. Weird shape. Ripeness test. Saw this on Pinterest. Yeah. It worked. Wow. Oh. OK. This one expires in a week–hmm, two weeks, not bad. Oh, there’s got to be
something better back here. Sir. Oh, wow, what in the–what are you doing?Just a guy looking
for fresh milk. OK. Well. This one is good till the
beginning of the year. Oh, that’s amazing. Good luck on your endeavors. I appreciate that. It’s not a big deal. People take a lot more than
15 items in the express laneall the time. I only went one over–16. Holy cow, that guy in
front of me is tall. He can see directly
into my cart. He’s counting. He’s counting my items. Oh my gosh, he just
saw that I got 16. Is that a misdemeanor
or a felony?I just got kids. I don’t want to go to jail. Oh my gosh, he just
told the cash register. Holy cow, he’s
reaching for the phone. Oh, he’s going to call the cops. I got to get out of here. Sweetie, I’m telling you,
I’ve looked on every aisle. They do not have dried
cilantro in this store. I’m looking right by
the ground cinnamon. You know what?It’s right by the cinnamon. Thank you. Two trips– yeah, right. The cavalry has arrived. Nice. You need some help?No. I got it. You sure?Yeah, I’m great. Just tell me which bag
my tapioca pudding is in. Oh, dude, I knew I
forgot something. You know how you get
in there and you justforget what you came for. Oh. Oh, dude, I am so sorry. My gosh. Dadgummit. Dude–You dropped the milk. –why are you just
standing there?Go get towels!Oh, wow. This is my fault?You’re the one that
forgot my tapioca pudding!Hurry up. It’s going to ruin this court!Oh, I’ll show you
ruin the court!Oh, wow. You remembered the eggs. Who am I?You!How about this for
ruining this court!You want a little bit more?Look. Hey, how about this doorjamb?I hope you don’t need
this for anything. Ty, stop!I’ll go back to the store. Stop it!Oh!Hey remember that time
you forgot my pudding?It was right here!That’s permanent!It was just a tapioca pudding!Stop!Oh, it’s so deep. Stop. Stop!We can still fix it. I’m going to need more tape. I don’t even know how
to fix this stuff. Well, I guess we
could play half court. No, no, no, no, no!Woo-hoo. Yee-ha. Woo-hoo. Can I help you?Yeah. Could I get 10 of the
smoked Wisconsin cheddar?10 pounds?!Slices. You only want 10 slices?10 wheels. 10 wheels. Yeah. OK. We’re going to need
nine more wheels. No, no, no, no, no,
no, no– blocks. Cancel the nine wheels
of Gouda, because we’regoing to need some more cheese. Free samples– one per customer. Oh, no, one per customer. Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you meant–Wow. –one meat and one cheese. I didn’t even–Yeah. –know they had–Oh. –samples here at this store. What would you say
would be the best one?What’s the name of this stuff?Never mind. We’re good. Thanks. Morning. Hi, could I interest
you in a cart?No. I’m good. How about a basket?Just grabbing one thing. Thanks. Oh. I don’t need it anyway. Oh, it’s the dreaded cold aisle. I just got to get
to the Go-Gurt. What’s up guys?Thanks for watching. If you’re not already a
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miss out on any new videos. As some of you know, we
just finished filmingseason three of our TV show. The full season airs the
beginning of next year. We’ve got a Halloween
special thatairs this Saturday the 27th. So set your DVRs to record
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so you don’t miss out. Signing off for now. Pound it. Noggin. See ya.

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